Can you go one day without smoking meth or thinking about 10 year old boys asses? A 31 year old pedophile who lives with his mom and tries to pay miniscule overdue gambling debts by mailing meat bought with his welfare.
You're clearly mentally unstable and have severe mental issues. I'd say within the next two years you are either dead, in a mental hospital, or in prison.
My guess is that you will simply snap one day and kill several innocent people who happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. You really should be locked up. People with severe mental problems like yours are ticking bombs.
The only reason people like you are allowed to live, is because it is illegal to kill you.