Maybe its time to admit you need some help and ask Jewdonk how to get this working correctly?
You're above me and all of that, but how do ingratiating comments like this one and the circus picture under your Godatine account help the situation? Don't answer that, but do consider explaining why here you are in favor of keeping things quiet and getting the forum under control asap and yet here you are annoyed.
I am genuinely curious to know the difference? Why talk crap publicly? I don't get it, and I've got the worst habit of running my mouth and have had to really work at keeping it in check. For you to berate the guy who constantly keeps your baby humming and cleaning other people's messes like this is bizarre, what am I missing?
I write novels when my intended audience demonstates capacity to sit long enough to read them and enough intelligence to understand them. PFA having even one of you is more than enough evidence I would be wasting my time, and I would say there is a good dozen of you, do the math, respectfully.
Never, that's a lot of work to get an angry genius with a lot of time and resources at his disposal fired up enough to FOCUS on one thing, which would be me and very bad.
The world is safe so long as the dragon sleeps, and I ain't waking him up more than I tried to do already, never again. Ne-v-er
Technically I have always asserted only one thing about Scooter- He is a super-genius, and where he is at mentally is the fringe between genius and insanity. It can seem one way or the other if you do not know him, but those of us that do know it is 100% sanity.
He's got the upper hand on me as does sonatine, details being boring essentially they both have my trust and basically I overreact to most things they do that seem negative. You tell me I can't cook tacos I say fuck it, go eat something else, and fuck you for saying anything at all but they need hot sauce, scooter or tine says the same thing I'll probably overreact slam the spatula down on the counter top grab the oil and chuck it against a wall screaming about how someone is always trying to make me crack and blah blah.
BPD- learn to love it, that's what I am trying to do. I haven't learned how to control my mania and thus have zero control over slipping into a slightly dissociated state and acting poorly, then regretting it after etc etc. I am not happy about it, but also have no answers. The more I am attacked and feel threatened the further and faster I dissociate until I am not me at all, and won't remember what happened. if you wonder where my stamina and patience comes from to fight and fight with whomever about whatever sometimes, like I enjoy it or something, that would be my shell, a projected Self sent to do what needs to be done to keep the inner Self protected.
Hey that sounds just weird enough that I don't want to talk about it anymore. Let's concentrate on crucial matters at hand-I haven't touched a cigarette nor had the slightest urge, even around people smoking them, in like 6 days. This nicotine gum is absolutely the best aid to quit I have ever tried. Anyone smoking owes it to themselves and family/friends to give the 4mg gum a shot, it's nothing special and I feel nothing, and that's just the beauty of it, that I feel nothing. No cravings, no foggy headedness, no grouchiness and bad temper. Awesome.
Salient point, at the time that sentence fragment was posted the inference was that certain behaviours like the long and detailed posts as well as harder to perceive changes such as my wanting to think about and discuss more important and immediate topics such as 30k children die all around the world from easily preventable diseases vs the presidential debate etc etc.
Wanna give that another go and actually try and make a cohesive thought? Just using basic English skills and shitcanning this run on sentence bullshit. Do you realize that is all ONE sentence? Do you really lack basic elementary writing skills? Just fucking write it. You don't need to describe everything like you're Edgar Allen Poe.
Hey whatever, can I claim disability or something and be replaced as the sites whipping boy and scapegoat for everyhthing that goes wrong AND the shinnig example of everything that is wrong with the human race?
*ahem*
I mean, what kills me isn't the way he's twisted my words, the crafty way he's not changed what I said, which means I can't claim he's lying, but he is inserting a hidden motive or meaning behind things I said to use for his purposes.And Mike cracked it under the pressure of being unable to justifying his fucking transparent pedophila and in the space of a couple posts, wrote that children are in the best position to chose to be exploited and only posts apart, that children have no right to choose. OF COURSE. Were his words. THEY'RE CHILDREN.
I might be able to oh I dunno ,DEFEND MYSELF, but that's for another day, the day he asks me back or green lights it personally. Today, I just want to point out (aside from the fact I am not a pedophile) that I was basically admitting that priests are elevated to a position of trust which can easily be manipulated for some sick perverts private uses. He's chopped the posts I made and I think it went something like children are vulnerable in particular because society has this status quo of being incompetant and sucking mommy's teet for survival and incapable of making ANY important decisions until midnight the morning of their x birthday, maybe 16 maybe 18 who knows. This is largely done precisely because they can not often make big decisions, because oh It's too obvious to say, the point I am making is that it's just as unfair to me that I be denied my voice while he's saying things about me and yet, I should be held to a higher standard (one that I will rise to just to be the bigger man and hopefully end the BS once and for all)
So Druff, when you ask why do I bring the drama there here, the above is a great example, and it's something that happens a lot. The person I quoted is actually not doing it to spite me, as I used to believe, there is an important point he wants to make and I fit into many molds, having no real identity of my own, always borrowing and never having anything of my own. What he is saying is not terribly important so much as can I defend myself and have a say when things are said which make me look potentially bad, like I dunno. Being accused of pedophilia, that might be bad enough to get me motivated in wanting the right to defend myself against slander, should such a thing happen.
It's not right to dump drama onto your forum just because everyone reads all the boards, I admit that, and apologize for doing it. Also ever time I see a "druff is this true" or insert whoevers name, I know you hate them and they never happened prior to my making the threads to tapper and gay sex, and for that I apologize.
Also having given it much thought you are right in never having trolled me, I appreicate you handling that with the sense of calm and respectfullness that you did, despite my volleying fairly infamitory accusations. I was both very sure and very emotional that I had what I said right, had you done something with less class, like banning me outright or calling me an idiot and changing my avatar etc, I would have reacted really bad for a couple of days, and in the end still know you were right and have yet more useless out of control posts to regret having made.
I try to be sane, rational, intelligent, logical, insightful and wherever possible, helpful. It's an uphill battle every day that I win and lose but rest assured you win in spots like this because even my BPD gets overulled by my photographic memory and your having taken the time to ground me while I was manic will stick, I'll make the best effort possible to ensure that and trust you as I used to.
It seems like trust is one of the keys to understanding all the mess upstairs, the less I trust the people I am interacting with the easier it is to go manic, especially if I feel I am being taken advantage of.
Go figure I spend most of my time on forums populated with people I will never trust...trust me, I know how smart I am NOT.
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