I just read a couple of my posts now. They are quite arrogant. The problem is they have a room for me at the casino where I play cards so I can just get bombed towards the end of the night. I don't really like talking to people when I'm sober. These girls give me like octuple vodkas because I'm basically funnier than anyone I'm around. It's been that way my whole life. It's the only thing I'm good at besides poker. Tears of a clown.

When people are like Sheboon why aren't you drinking tonight? I respond with, "Tonight I want to stay angry." I have no edge drinking. Everyone is my friend when I get myself even like 10 percent feeling good. (This is why if I'm ever given the keys I will need a hard assed right hand man) Then I guess somewhere in the blackout phase it shifts to haunted memories of knowing I'm not normal and neither is the world and I start spewing nonsense that no one wants to hear. The problem is in that moment I shift back to the belief that most if not everyone understands every possible thing about me and my posts make sense to them.