Originally Posted by
Vwls
The great conundrum in life is that in order to attract a mate that has the qualities you need (inner strength, honesty, self assurance, intelligence, a caring heart, etc), you have to BE someone yourself with those qualities. You have to work on you before you can get with someone you'd want to be with. The trouble is, everyone's too impatient and desperate for sex to bother doing the self-growth stuff; they inevitably jump into doomed-to-fail relationships over and over. This is why so many marriages fail. A small handful of people get lucky and find someone who is willing to put up with them AS they grow, but truly, those are the fortunate few. In most cases, if you are struggling with your self identity, being successful and happy with who you are, etc, your mate's going to fall out of love with you fairly quickly.
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