Posting the OP here and link to the whole thread below. shit is hilarious and we need this guy on PFA I think asap. (or was this a PFA poster after all already?? hmmmm)

In a stunning development today, Caesars Entertainment announced that they will use Fair Play Technology in this year's WSOP Main Event.

Speaking of the transition, tournament director Jack Effel had this to say: "We have been wanting to find a way to separate serious players from recreational players for a long time, but lacked the technology to do it. However, thanks to Cake Poker's revolutionary development, those days are long gone. Unfortunately, Cake has refused to actually show us the details of the technology, but due to the network's long history of integrity and innovation we feel that whatever the details are, they will be fair and optimal."

Due to the changes of FPT, the main event has been broken into separate events. Now there will be a $10,000 + $500 tournament open only to experienced pros, and a second $10,000 +$10,000 'Donkey' event. In addition to the FPT changes, there has also been a change to the manner of payout, whereby all players who cash out will receive their winnings in $2,000 yearly Western Union withdrawals.

Interestingly, the changes have ensured at least one bracelet for Phil Ivey, as he is the only player allowed to enter the $25,000,000 + $1,000,000 Elite event. In reference to the buy in amount for Phil Ivey, Caesars Entertainment CEO Gary Loveman said he "[didn't] think he'd mind."

On hearing about the changes, Doyle Brunson, Phil Hellmuth, Jason Mercier, Johnny Chan and a slew of other highly notable players announced that they would no longer play the Main Event. Daniel Negreanu was unavailable for comment, however predictions are that even though he will recognize the Elite event to be negative EV, he will choose to play anyway.

An entrant in the Donkey event and longtime student of Jerry Yang had this to say, "Being such a huge fan of players like Phil Hellmuth and Antonio Es-esfan-esfuh... the magician one, I am so relieved that I no longer have the opportunity to play with them." The source was reminded that he still had the opportunity to play with players like Jean Robert Bellande and others like him who were still eligible for the Donkey tournament, to which the source replied: "Who?"

The source was asked to supply his name, but instead proceeded to thank both Jesus and his deceased grandmother for the seat he had won in a freeroll, before abusively declaring his favorite hand to be jack three offsuit.

In related news, former Mississippi governor George Wallace, upon rising from the grave, stated that he felt FPT to be "a step in the right direction."

To read more..

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/29...ology-1348885/