(Official No Trolling Request)

OK here are the cliffs:

I’m having a huge issue getting motivated enough to get out there in the world and engage in the rat race at this point in my life

Lately I find myself wanting to be as far away from the human race as possible. People are more often than not, boring and shallow and rude and inconsiderate and humorless and lack any kind of real brain power. I find that I can only be at peace when it’s a serene environment like the beach of course.

I hate being stuck in traffic with a passion, and if I do actually ‘work’, the next thing I know I’m dealing with constant phone calls and texts and product codes and FICO scores and a dozen other soul sucking facets of the endless capitalistic pursuit

Now I want to be perfectly clear about this…

I’m not oblivious to the fact that money makes the world go round, and thats ‘the game’

It’s just that I’m not at all driven by ‘things’ or what kind of watch I wear, or owning a house, or driving a Benz…at the end of the day who really gives a shit. I’m not interested in impressing anyone and never have been

I’ve lived a ‘nomadic’ life for the last 40 years and love everything about it. Certain concessions have been made, but overall I have few regrets

OK back to the core problem…

I’m currently in a position to easily clear 15K or more a month if I can somehow manage to get off my ass and put in a 30 hour honest work week

No not bullshit, I make ridiculous commissions when I put on my monkey suit and quit smoking weed wearing flip flops every fucking day. Hand to God, today was the first day I put on real shoes in the last two months and hated it immediately

Just the idea of going out and interacting with a bunch of cunts and Karens and dealing with traffic and stupid Mexicans and other ESL nimrods from third world countries holy shit just thinking about it gives me a physical reaction

So the issue is not opportunity, nor is it ability. I’m a skilled closer with a past track record of success when I actually give a fuck and put my head to the grindstone and get ‘hungry’

My business is really all about the numbers…think about panning for a few gold nuggets by sifting through a pile of reprehensible human trash for a rather lucrative payday

Ok one more important layer to this quandary…

I’m obsessed with living what can best be characterized as a ‘minimalist’ lifestyle and already managed to eliminate a ton of necessary expenses from what was already a rather modest level of consumption compared to some

I have the luxury of being single with no kids, no mortgage, no debt, and with the exception of my car payment and hotel rooms, I have managed to whittle down my monthly nut to record low levels

It’s incredibly liberating to be rid of so much unnecessary financial baggage, and believe it or not, it’s all by design. I can honestly say that for the most part, I love my life right now and feel the best I’ve felt for a long time

Therein lies the problem…what to do what to do

It seems to be a huge trade off from enjoying my mental health and peace of mind, to being flushed in a relatively short amount of time but totally fucking aggro and stressed out

Option A: get off my ass and grind it hard totally dialed in and go full beast mode banking 30K before the end of the year

Option B: keep on living the broke ass flip flop life hanging at the beach every day and avoiding the human race at all costs

I went as far as to start watching motivational videos to get right in the head, but nothing can pry me away from the coast right now. It’s totally bizarre

oh and lastly…

I’m super into my health now swimming virtually every day, and staying super active quickly approaching one full year without a drop of alcohol and don’t want to fuck up my streak

I’m after some kind of Jedi mind trick that will snap me back into reality, and once again push me to be a prosperous and productive member of society once again

poker destroyed any respect I ever had for money over 20 years ago, and I’m still trying to claw my way back