mulva's attempt to take normal poos before WSOP

all my life i've had a sensitive stomach, and never had any problems not being able to shit. i usually had to go all the time. but within the past 6 months i haven't been eating as much, or let me say over eating. i'm eating less, digesting less and slower, i think.

when i do take a shit my stool comes out very thick and sticky like hash consistency or little pooballs stuck to other little poo balls forming a 5 bar babie ruth poop.....and i can barely get it out of my rectum..i really thought about going to the hospital because of the pressure build up..,,i would go so far to say that it's like a grenade when it come out. very heavy. but i do appreciate the splash up.

i use to complain about having to take a shit after eating almost every meal, now that doesn't happen..but i wish it did.

i took some laxative the other day and i farted coming home, but i actually shit myself w/ that fart..

i'm worried that this is a serious condition..i read up on it and it basically told me to eat all natural stuff, heavy fruits and vegs...avoid caffiene and artificial sugars....

maybe i just need to eat more greasy food

Visit your doctor.

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Originally Posted by LLL

Visit your doctor.

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part of me wants to, but i don't want any other man going near my ass w/ medical intruments

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Originally Posted by mulva

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Originally Posted by LLL

Visit your doctor.

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part of me wants to, but i don't want any other man going near my ass w/ medical intruments

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No idea how old you are as that would play a factor in possibilities. You definitely should see doctor just in case.

In the meantime load up with fiber and see if that improves anything. Good sources of fiber are beans and greens. Or you could buy some Metamucil.

You need to get this checked out. I had the same problems back in August 2003. Ask a doctor to see if you have Diverticulitis (sp?) It causes a blockage in your intestines and it will lead to a rupture. I had that happen and I woke up in ICU with a shit bag. I was hospitalized for 34 days. First 26 days eating nothing but ice chips. I had the colostomy reversed in Jan 04. I was in the hospital another 29 days with that. This is a serious matter so please get it checked out. Before the rupture I played a lot of sports. I was on 4 softball teams. Played a lot of golf. I have played nothing since as the scar tissue makes it impossible. At no time will a doctor go near your ass.

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Originally Posted by cmoney

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Originally Posted by mulva

part of me wants to, but i don't want any other man going near my ass w/ medical intruments

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No idea how old you are as that would play a factor in possibilities. You definitely should see doctor just in case.

In the meantime load up with fiber and see if that improves anything. Good sources of fiber are beans and greens. Or you could buy some Metamucil.

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when you reach 40 " shit" starts to go south on you. i was told daily metamucil helps as well...from what i've read people just learn to live w/ this..i mean the people that don;t have anything wrong w/ them.......right now i'm loading up on ice cream, chinese food and all sorts of other stuff i haven't been eating. thing is,..i don't want to eat when i'm not hungry just to shit

Yes diverticulitis and other colon fuckups are serious business and you should get it checked out.

Get plenty of fiber and drink plenty of water.

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Originally Posted by ugaistheteam

You need to get this checked out. I had the same problems back in August 2003. Ask a doctor to see if you have Diverticulitis (sp?) It causes a blockage in your intestines and it will lead to a rupture. I had that happen and I woke up in ICU with a shit bag. I was hospitalized for 34 days. First 26 days eating nothing but ice chips. I had the colostomy reversed in Jan 04. I was in the hospital another 29 days with that. This is a serious matter so please get it checked out. Before the rupture I played a lot of sports. I was on 4 softball teams. Played a lot of golf. I have played nothing since as the scar tissue makes it impossible. At no time will a doctor go near your ass.

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fuck...maybe i need to go see a very smart, hot women dr for this.

i pushed so hard to get my shit out the other day it stated to bleed because it was ripping my skin apart..i ended up taking a laxative on the toilet and sitting there for over an hour...i even tried reaching up there are grabbing some of it to get it out....horrible experience on every level. the problem i had made me wish i had some undercooked chicken to eat

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Originally Posted by Walter Sobchak

Yes diverticulitis and other colon fuckups are serious business and you should get it checked out.

Get plenty of fiber and drink plenty of water.

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i haven't been drinking that much water,..so i decided to drink a bunch of it at night..i ended up not sleeping and having to piss every hour.

Are you on any painkillers?

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Originally Posted by mulva

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Originally Posted by ugaistheteam

You need to get this checked out. I had the same problems back in August 2003. Ask a doctor to see if you have Diverticulitis (sp?) It causes a blockage in your intestines and it will lead to a rupture. I had that happen and I woke up in ICU with a shit bag. I was hospitalized for 34 days. First 26 days eating nothing but ice chips. I had the colostomy reversed in Jan 04. I was in the hospital another 29 days with that. This is a serious matter so please get it checked out. Before the rupture I played a lot of sports. I was on 4 softball teams. Played a lot of golf. I have played nothing since as the scar tissue makes it impossible. At no time will a doctor go near your ass.

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fuck...maybe i need to go see a very smart, hot women dr for this.

i pushed so hard to get my shit out the other day it stated to bleed because it was ripping my skin apart..i ended up taking a laxative on the toilet and sitting there for over an hour...i even tried reaching up there are grabbing some of it to get it out....horrible experience on every level. the problem i had made me wish i had some undercooked chicken to eat

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lol. This must be a level.

started eating grape nuts w/ almond milk, and putting bananas in it...oh..btw..i recently discovered that i can;t eat much dairy...skim milk was killing my stomach...so i barely can drink it,..don't know if this is just another condition from that

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbDcnUH6rOc

RIP

NEVER FORGET

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Originally Posted by Pooh

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Originally Posted by mulva

fuck...maybe i need to go see a very smart, hot women dr for this.

i pushed so hard to get my shit out the other day it stated to bleed because it was ripping my skin apart..i ended up taking a laxative on the toilet and sitting there for over an hour...i even tried reaching up there are grabbing some of it to get it out....horrible experience on every level. the problem i had made me wish i had some undercooked chicken to eat

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lol. This must be a level.

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dude,..i called my lady in the toilet asking for help..but i had no idea what she would even do to help me out, other than watch me die...i know it's comedy, but it's 100% true.

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Originally Posted by mulva

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Originally Posted by LLL

Visit your doctor.

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part of me wants to, but i don't want any other man going near my ass w/ medical intruments

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Request a female doctor. I have had a tube shoved up my rectum twice and it was no big deal.

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Originally Posted by mulva

started eating grape nuts w/ almond milk, and putting bananas in it...oh..btw..i recently discovered that i can;t eat much dairy...skim milk was killing my stomach...so i barely can drink it,..don't know if this is just another condition from that

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If so then stop with the dairy, except try some of that yogurt with bacteria that are supposed to help keep you regular. Eat beets, beans, vegetables, fruits, nuts and whole grains. Get some metamucil or inulin which you can stir into any liquid. Get probiotic supplements but make sure they are real good ones with like a dozen bacterial species. Stop eating refined sugar and greasy food and really fatty stuff and meat.

no painkillers...maybe extended use of ibuprofen or my new migrane pills?

i just take claritin or zyrtec daily..

my diet basically consists of

yogurt
pasta
pizza
vitamins
diet soda
energy drink
roto chix
ice cream
sandwiches
fresh fruit and vegs when i'm motivated to make..

not much of a snacker anymore

Not saying this is it but you have a lot of dairy in your diet.

You should go to the doctor asap and see what it is. If you do have a form of Diverticulitis that is a serious condition that will only get worse if left untreated.

Mulva,

Instead of migraine pills (or maybe along with them) try pscilocibin mushrooms. (I botched the spelling). I take half as much as I would normally take to trip and it makes a huge difference on my pain and the length of the migraine.

google for more info

Magnesium citrate

Drink it

Get a colonoscopy. The Dr wears gloves