i really did have alot of confidence in my golf handicapping and bet structuring over the last few years. i felt like i had got to my coin flip/semi-coin flip spots and it was just a manner of time until they would come through and the ball would bounce my way. i always tried to make sure that if i was correct i would make at least low 5 figures in payout while still managing my bankroll the best way I could. For the most part i did, and despite losing the last 8 5 figure score chances by a single stroke or in a playoff, I hardly ever made a tilt bet.
There are horrific beats and then there was the one this weekend. Sure it hurts more because it truly does finish me off but still it had to be the worst golf chokes I have seen in a long time. The golfer i had was named Jeeno and she is the #1 female golfer in the world. She is also the number 1 ranked putter in the world. She got to the 18th Par 5 with a one stroke lead and both her and Charley Hull (One back) reached the green in two. Both missed their eagle putts and had about 5 feet left for their birdie. Jeeno was slightly outside of Charlie. Anyways she smashed her putt another 5 feet past, missed the comebacker and ended up 4 putting. Charley then made her birdie putt and won. i dont know for sure but its a safe bet that Jeeno has never 4 putted in her pro career.
It was a combination of so much losing, the finality of it all and the absurd matter in which it all happened, it just made me so sick. i was dry heaving because i had nothing in my stomach to throw up. Maybe there is a reason it had to end this way. The older you get the tougher it is to start over. i wont blame luck on all this. Yes, I made some great bets that ended up as digital napkins, but its my other life choices that led to the point that I needed this 22 year Old Thai chick to not perform the choke of the century to sustain.
People do say this all the time when they go broke, but that is very likely the last bet I ever make. I'm just too old and it effects my health way too much. I am sorry to post this here but i know many here will at least understand it. If i try to speak about it to all the squares in my life, it's just "gambling" and I sound delusional when i say i really did have a horrific run of luck. But i really did. Now its time to live very lean and go on the public humiliation tour with family and friends. I do hope i figure something out.
i really do enjoy this site and it was great that i found it during the pandemic. i feel like i know many of you, even though i have never met most of you. This post may seem selfish and tone death with all that is going on in the world. But i needed to post it. I needed this all to be memorialized somewhere and this was the place. I hope i figure things out and have a positive update to this in the future. Godspeed everyone.
